blog killer

Instagram has been my blog 2.0. I have not even kept up well with Instagram, truthfully. Keeping a record of our days is something I am always trying to keep pace with. This was a special post I did awhile back that I want to have here on the blog. I am on Instagram as thefunnyfarm if you miss me here :)

a year ago today

 Aden's arm was in a cast.

 Collin picked me all the dandelions in the neighborhood.

 Matt enjoyed his morning cup(s) of coffee.

 Technology brought 4 feisty boys together.

Little reminders that our lives are not our own were scattered through the house.

A lot has changed in a year, ...and not so much.

legend of the corduroy jacket

It lives on in Collin's Kindergarten portrait. All my boys have worn this Ralph Lauren blazer to Kindergarten picture day. Andrea has even called dibs on it for her boy. So it is kind of a big deal. Pretty great for a $5 thrift store score a decade ago!

Not sure if anybody realizes just how much of a cynic I am. I learned to curb it early on. (not everyone wants to visit the dark farm with me, go figure) But this boy. I tell you what, this boy is changing all that. He melts me. All those crusty bits where wounds haven't quite healed right, his delight in life chases them off. He is exhausting, to be sure, so I have to rest more. And I am learning that I am not so much a cynic as I am tired. Tiny wizard, that is what Collin is. A tiny wizard, pressing in on my heart in all the best ways. Plus that coat always puts a smile on my face.

storytime

 In the beginning of my 8th grade year at North Junior High in Boise, ID, I almost got my trash kicked. I was standing at my locker, all 70 pounds of bones in my too-big cheerleader uniform, when a very angry Krissy approached. Word around the preteen scene was that I had called her the B word. I was a very mouthy 13 year old but on this account I was innocent. We had a very heated discussion and then, as will happen with girls this age, walked away friends. In fact, Krissy remained one of my closest friends throughout my time at NJHS & later in high school. Krissy was a bad ass. She had a big, protective family with brothers & cousins. And somehow, I was in with them, too.
 Krissy still looks out for me. She checks in via Facebook & asks how the Seattle Experiment is going. She & I plan for a day when we can get her boys and mine together even though we are far apart for this season.

 When Matt's cousin was shot in the line of duty & all the what-ifs that I had tried not to think about Matt's line of work flooded in, I met another friend. She had been another active parent at the boy's school in Nampa & bonus points, she always had some fabulous accessory in her hair. Marcela was reeling from her own personal crisis but reached out to me. I call her Mafia, she is also a bad ass. She grew up in Nampa, in a bad part of town  (near Matt, actually) & is all the more street wise for it. Somehow she loves this still too mouthy white girl that is me.
 Marcela is a champion for me to not lose me in Mommyhood. She has now coined the phrase "Queen of the World Moment," meaning good self-care has to be a priority for us in raising kids. I never feel dumb sharing photos of what I'm wearing or how I did my hair with Marcela. She is always telling me not to lose my sparkle....or else ;)

 Fast forward to our life in the Emerald City. I have found friendship with a fierce little Italian woman who bosses me around & makes me try amazing pork products. (I love you, Ang!) She drags me out of the house on bad days with homeschool & takes me out to comfort food. She tells me her story of almost being killed in a car accident & coming out of a coma & the physical therapy she is still doing. It inspires me & pulls me out of my funk.

 My neighbor, Rhiannon is the kindest woman I've met up here but when our landlords were being too pushy, she cornered them & gave 'em the what for. She is always putting a glass of red wine in my hand & laughing with me about our kids last antics. She challenges me that my five year needs to wipe his own behind. (working on it!)

 I love a strong woman. I need loyal friends. It goes along with the idea Oprah talked about, that every woman needs a wife. Woman leaning on other women to get through this life. Like Sister Wives but not tabloid worthy. 

storytime

 
How was your weekend? Matt was out of town for Sunday so I sat around all day & let the boys entertain themselves. I had entire pints of ice cream & caught up on all my shows, like I had just had a bad break up. I even did the ugly cry when Will Schuester proposed on Glee.
 Matt & I had a terrible dating relationship. Our very first break up was so silly. I was going to see my dad & I said I would miss Matt, he would not say it back. Well, I really didn't think we had anything left to say after that. (double snap!) We worked it out later over the phone, me in Arizona, but Matt was in front of a living room full of people at his mom's. (back when you were tethered to the wall to talk on the phone) He started crying & got a bloody nose. Now tell me, would it not have just been easier to say, "I'll miss you, too"?!
image found here

storytime

A few times in life since moving out of my parents house, there have been moments of furniture serendipity. It is notable because we have moved so many times. (8 times in 11 years) You are low on funds & think you will have to get by without, make do. Then all of a sudden an aunt clears out her storage unit or you drive by that never ending yard sale across town & spot a perfectly aged red picnic table that is priced for just exactly what you can afford. It is just bliss when it happens. Since moving to Seattle we have been given a lot of free stuff. The latest qualified for storytime, in my mind. 

Matt & I have never purchased a dining room table, we have been given 5. Our growing family bumped us out of each of them, either because we kept adding people or because the boys broke them. When we moved to Seattle we did not take anything but a plastic fold-out table, like you use at BBQ's or garage sales. We have been getting by but the moment Matt got his job I was ready to shop for a table. We had strategized on size, price, the look we were going for & then I pulled the plug. I was resolved that we would be given a table. I was not thrilled about more meals served on the plastic absurdity but I was convinced a table was coming our way. Then we got an email. Our landlords are realtors & had the table & the china cabinet left at a property they sold.

The table is nicely built & sturdy, seats all of us, goes with our chairs, & needs just a little revamping. Even my parents, who were visiting & went to pick up the furniture for us, were excited. We all kept staring at the table & smiling. When I get a feeling like I did with the table Matt always says I should play the lottery. I seriously doubt that winning the lottery could make me as happy as our cast off, nicked, old  table does right this minute!

storytime

  I want to tell more stories on this blog. So I am starting with my very first one. My very first memory. It takes place at preschool. It is actually at preschool storytime, which happened, as is often the case, after show and tell. The teacher was open to a few students bringing something to share with the group. I was one of the kiddos that brought something that day. It was a doll of my sister's & it had a wood cradle & a blanket that went along with it. I shared with the group then took it back to my cubby after the allotted sharing time was over. Then, for reasons unknown to me, I felt the pull to stay at my cubby and play with the doll. I was told repeatedly to put it away & come back for circle time for a story. This sticks out vividly in my mind because I am a rule follower. I try to learn and master systems, I am a little autistic that way. (well, an internet test once told me that's what it is) Anyway, you have to know how strong that desire must have been that day to stay with the doll at the cubby, for me to ignore & continue to disobey my teachers commands. And then, face the consequence of having a time out.

  There are times in life when my main wiring for following the rules will become unhinged & with equal conviction, I will fight unto death (or time out) against those authorities I was hell bent on pleasing. I think the effect is particularly confusing for others.

  In my last few years I have been learning the toxicity of religion. The rules that have made me to feel safe & accepted have failed me. I have missed out on community because the rules were valued over relationship. This first memory of mine is so strong because I was barely ever immersed in childhood things. I was busy asking my dad about hermaphrodites. (no joke, check-out line at a busy grocery store around age 6) I had a great childhood with a lot of happy memories but none but this one where I remember delighting in something DESPITE others being clearly unhappy with me. I want that place again. Not that I want to be selfish & play alone with my stuff. But to let unfiltered joy find a place in my life. Where I am not worried how it will sound, what people will think, or who will like me less.
(image found here)