whole-hearted

Here is the start of this year's Valentine decorations. I am obsessed with sewing paper! My mom brought up the sewing machine & we tried sewing cardboard. The vertical chain of hearts is just painted cardboard. The pennants are felt scraps. I think she & I would have been more productive without requests for sword sheaths & capes & whatnot. That is just the sweet life with 4 boys, I suppose. Anyone else have trouble balancing fun with the kids and what is intended to be a ROMANTIC holiday?

storytime

 
How was your weekend? Matt was out of town for Sunday so I sat around all day & let the boys entertain themselves. I had entire pints of ice cream & caught up on all my shows, like I had just had a bad break up. I even did the ugly cry when Will Schuester proposed on Glee.
 Matt & I had a terrible dating relationship. Our very first break up was so silly. I was going to see my dad & I said I would miss Matt, he would not say it back. Well, I really didn't think we had anything left to say after that. (double snap!) We worked it out later over the phone, me in Arizona, but Matt was in front of a living room full of people at his mom's. (back when you were tethered to the wall to talk on the phone) He started crying & got a bloody nose. Now tell me, would it not have just been easier to say, "I'll miss you, too"?!
image found here

storytime

A few times in life since moving out of my parents house, there have been moments of furniture serendipity. It is notable because we have moved so many times. (8 times in 11 years) You are low on funds & think you will have to get by without, make do. Then all of a sudden an aunt clears out her storage unit or you drive by that never ending yard sale across town & spot a perfectly aged red picnic table that is priced for just exactly what you can afford. It is just bliss when it happens. Since moving to Seattle we have been given a lot of free stuff. The latest qualified for storytime, in my mind. 

Matt & I have never purchased a dining room table, we have been given 5. Our growing family bumped us out of each of them, either because we kept adding people or because the boys broke them. When we moved to Seattle we did not take anything but a plastic fold-out table, like you use at BBQ's or garage sales. We have been getting by but the moment Matt got his job I was ready to shop for a table. We had strategized on size, price, the look we were going for & then I pulled the plug. I was resolved that we would be given a table. I was not thrilled about more meals served on the plastic absurdity but I was convinced a table was coming our way. Then we got an email. Our landlords are realtors & had the table & the china cabinet left at a property they sold.

The table is nicely built & sturdy, seats all of us, goes with our chairs, & needs just a little revamping. Even my parents, who were visiting & went to pick up the furniture for us, were excited. We all kept staring at the table & smiling. When I get a feeling like I did with the table Matt always says I should play the lottery. I seriously doubt that winning the lottery could make me as happy as our cast off, nicked, old  table does right this minute!

china cabinet

More free furniture! Our landlords gave us some old furniture. This just keeps happening to us and I love it! Here is a terrible basement "before" pic of the china cabinet: 

I am hoping we will get it all glammed up like what I have seen around the web.

Like this classy white one.

this rad yellow one, with a pink horse, eee!

Here is a show-stopper in red.
I like the idea of turquoise or pink even. Hmm... Thoughts?

company

My parents visited recently. I had jobs for them from the first moments they arrived. Picking up free furniture ( more on that to come!), finding a used saw for Kaleb's "weapon-making" (yikes!), sewing Valentine's decor (pics coming soon), and making scrumptious "man quiches" filled with nothing but meat & cheese. We did try to get out and try a sunset trip to Woodland Park Zoo. It was fun to be in the zoo when it was practically empty, that is until the arctic wolves were eyeing us a little intensely. Whoa! Exit stage left. It was probably a good thing because the guy at the front gate told the boys at 5:00pm the zoo lets the big cats out to roam freely. Thanks for all your help & memories made, Grandpa & Grammy!

winter style

I take it for granted that I am surrounded by such handsome guys. Guy style is so effortless, I love it. Matt has rocked some facial hair this winter & Kaleb is working the driver's cap & missing teeth look.

I think Seattle may just be making us all cooler.

storytime

  I want to tell more stories on this blog. So I am starting with my very first one. My very first memory. It takes place at preschool. It is actually at preschool storytime, which happened, as is often the case, after show and tell. The teacher was open to a few students bringing something to share with the group. I was one of the kiddos that brought something that day. It was a doll of my sister's & it had a wood cradle & a blanket that went along with it. I shared with the group then took it back to my cubby after the allotted sharing time was over. Then, for reasons unknown to me, I felt the pull to stay at my cubby and play with the doll. I was told repeatedly to put it away & come back for circle time for a story. This sticks out vividly in my mind because I am a rule follower. I try to learn and master systems, I am a little autistic that way. (well, an internet test once told me that's what it is) Anyway, you have to know how strong that desire must have been that day to stay with the doll at the cubby, for me to ignore & continue to disobey my teachers commands. And then, face the consequence of having a time out.

  There are times in life when my main wiring for following the rules will become unhinged & with equal conviction, I will fight unto death (or time out) against those authorities I was hell bent on pleasing. I think the effect is particularly confusing for others.

  In my last few years I have been learning the toxicity of religion. The rules that have made me to feel safe & accepted have failed me. I have missed out on community because the rules were valued over relationship. This first memory of mine is so strong because I was barely ever immersed in childhood things. I was busy asking my dad about hermaphrodites. (no joke, check-out line at a busy grocery store around age 6) I had a great childhood with a lot of happy memories but none but this one where I remember delighting in something DESPITE others being clearly unhappy with me. I want that place again. Not that I want to be selfish & play alone with my stuff. But to let unfiltered joy find a place in my life. Where I am not worried how it will sound, what people will think, or who will like me less.
(image found here)

12

Before bed on Saturday night I looked over at Matt & said, "no offense but today I told Parker he was the best thing that ever happened to me." Matt laughed and said, "I told Parker that today, too." 

The ways this young man has changed our lives, it is just too big for words. The other day I was debating with him about something (kid loves to debate) and he said, "Mom, it is my job to tell you the truth. It is not my job to make you believe me." 

I about fell down dead. He is so smart. Smarter than most adults I know, I have said before. He just gets it, what is in his yard and what is not. Maybe that is why he is always having so much fun. Because when you just focus on what is yours, there is a lot of time left to enjoy life. 

Just like when I was terrified about what everybody thought of me being a teen mom, I looked into those knowing brown eyes & I knew if I just focused on the tremendous gift I had been given, it would all be okay. And it is, it is better than I ever imagined. Happy Birthday, Firstborn! 

(birthday details; Parker went to a NFL game with his dad in the fall but he was delighted to spend last weekend with his Grandpa Ken & Grandma Annie. He requested a movie & the Rainforest Cafe on his actual birthday.)

weekend

Something terrible awful happened this weekend. This little guy, well, he turned 12. I am heartbroken. I told him a million times to quit growing and he has not listened. 

Upbeat birthday post to come, once I stop sobbing.

date night

(Quick pic before we headed off in the swagger wagon. Those yellow tights are my absolute fave right now.)

Date night rolls around about once a month for us. With it comes a new appreciation. For each other, for good food, & for the absence of our wild children. My sister got word that this place was the spot for a spectacular night out, and it did not disappoint. If you are in the Seattle area, get yourself there!

let's get physical

image found here

It is the beginning of the year and all the exercise talk starts up. All the gyms are packed. (or so I have heard) I was reflecting on this, because I am 30 now, which means I am more reflective. Or at least I am trying to be. I actually think I may have an insight on this. I have been doing some light stretching & cardio once a day for about 10-20 minutes. Nothing much, right? Well, I have noticed that the nagging inner voice that is never satisfied, (You're too flabby, too pale, not youthful, not in style, undesirable. You guys have any of these?) well, it has piped down a bit. I want to stress, THIS IS NOT BASED ON VISIBLE RESULTS. It is just a thought change. Like I have checked the box & told my self-hate, I'M WORKIN' ON IT, so just shut up already!