winter style

I take it for granted that I am surrounded by such handsome guys. Guy style is so effortless, I love it. Matt has rocked some facial hair this winter & Kaleb is working the driver's cap & missing teeth look.

I think Seattle may just be making us all cooler.

storytime

  I want to tell more stories on this blog. So I am starting with my very first one. My very first memory. It takes place at preschool. It is actually at preschool storytime, which happened, as is often the case, after show and tell. The teacher was open to a few students bringing something to share with the group. I was one of the kiddos that brought something that day. It was a doll of my sister's & it had a wood cradle & a blanket that went along with it. I shared with the group then took it back to my cubby after the allotted sharing time was over. Then, for reasons unknown to me, I felt the pull to stay at my cubby and play with the doll. I was told repeatedly to put it away & come back for circle time for a story. This sticks out vividly in my mind because I am a rule follower. I try to learn and master systems, I am a little autistic that way. (well, an internet test once told me that's what it is) Anyway, you have to know how strong that desire must have been that day to stay with the doll at the cubby, for me to ignore & continue to disobey my teachers commands. And then, face the consequence of having a time out.

  There are times in life when my main wiring for following the rules will become unhinged & with equal conviction, I will fight unto death (or time out) against those authorities I was hell bent on pleasing. I think the effect is particularly confusing for others.

  In my last few years I have been learning the toxicity of religion. The rules that have made me to feel safe & accepted have failed me. I have missed out on community because the rules were valued over relationship. This first memory of mine is so strong because I was barely ever immersed in childhood things. I was busy asking my dad about hermaphrodites. (no joke, check-out line at a busy grocery store around age 6) I had a great childhood with a lot of happy memories but none but this one where I remember delighting in something DESPITE others being clearly unhappy with me. I want that place again. Not that I want to be selfish & play alone with my stuff. But to let unfiltered joy find a place in my life. Where I am not worried how it will sound, what people will think, or who will like me less.
(image found here)

12

Before bed on Saturday night I looked over at Matt & said, "no offense but today I told Parker he was the best thing that ever happened to me." Matt laughed and said, "I told Parker that today, too." 

The ways this young man has changed our lives, it is just too big for words. The other day I was debating with him about something (kid loves to debate) and he said, "Mom, it is my job to tell you the truth. It is not my job to make you believe me." 

I about fell down dead. He is so smart. Smarter than most adults I know, I have said before. He just gets it, what is in his yard and what is not. Maybe that is why he is always having so much fun. Because when you just focus on what is yours, there is a lot of time left to enjoy life. 

Just like when I was terrified about what everybody thought of me being a teen mom, I looked into those knowing brown eyes & I knew if I just focused on the tremendous gift I had been given, it would all be okay. And it is, it is better than I ever imagined. Happy Birthday, Firstborn! 

(birthday details; Parker went to a NFL game with his dad in the fall but he was delighted to spend last weekend with his Grandpa Ken & Grandma Annie. He requested a movie & the Rainforest Cafe on his actual birthday.)

weekend

Something terrible awful happened this weekend. This little guy, well, he turned 12. I am heartbroken. I told him a million times to quit growing and he has not listened. 

Upbeat birthday post to come, once I stop sobbing.

date night

(Quick pic before we headed off in the swagger wagon. Those yellow tights are my absolute fave right now.)

Date night rolls around about once a month for us. With it comes a new appreciation. For each other, for good food, & for the absence of our wild children. My sister got word that this place was the spot for a spectacular night out, and it did not disappoint. If you are in the Seattle area, get yourself there!

let's get physical

image found here

It is the beginning of the year and all the exercise talk starts up. All the gyms are packed. (or so I have heard) I was reflecting on this, because I am 30 now, which means I am more reflective. Or at least I am trying to be. I actually think I may have an insight on this. I have been doing some light stretching & cardio once a day for about 10-20 minutes. Nothing much, right? Well, I have noticed that the nagging inner voice that is never satisfied, (You're too flabby, too pale, not youthful, not in style, undesirable. You guys have any of these?) well, it has piped down a bit. I want to stress, THIS IS NOT BASED ON VISIBLE RESULTS. It is just a thought change. Like I have checked the box & told my self-hate, I'M WORKIN' ON IT, so just shut up already!

fresh

Almost 2012! We are gearing up for cider toasts, confetti poppers & banging on pots at midnight. The boys are really so excited & it is contagious.
Here is what I get pumped about- organization. I know, thrilling. I found some inspiration from the lovely blog stephmodo:

The secret to an easily-maintained clean living space is simply having less stuff to clean up. You would think it's some kind of organization system, right? But truly, when it comes down to it, the issue is just keeping tabs on how much we are accumulating in our living spaces because having lots of "stuff" = having to always be cleaning up that "stuff".

Before we moved to Seattle, we hosted a large garage sale and pared down quite a bit. And since moving here we continue to be concerted about what things we are holding on to--it's truly a constant process and not just a one time effort (although I wish it weren't so). In fact, I find myself purging things from our home on a fairly continuing basis--about once a month in fact. While it is a bit of a pain to sort, sell, donate, schlep, etc. the end result is pure satisfaction...and liberation...and clarity of thought. As crazy as it may sound, the less "stuff" we have, the more interesting our lives become. Meaning, instead of being constantly consumed with maintaining our junk and the accumulation of this and that, we are focused more on experiences--treasures that stay with us always. So all in all, it feels like putting forth the effort to clean out nooks and crannies a good thing.

Also, Aden has a new 'do. The Before:

 The After:

 And the Jamba Juice date with Mom:

Happy New Year!

holiday hangover

I love the attitude radiating from this picture of Collin. He was sporting a plaid sport coat on a Sunday morning church service. Also, you can see his super long slender fingers that he inherited from his Granny Annie. That was the very first thing I saw when he was born. Totally captivated by those tiny hands that made us a family of 6.

It was kind of an outtake, though. I always find myself unable to erase all the wack-a-do photos on the computer. The outtakes are so fun to look through. They tell an unscripted story.

Nothing draws a boy like a ladder.

Nothing reconciles brothers like a chance to clink glasses for a Christmas Eve toast.

I was a little disappointed when I sorted through the Christmas photos because they all looked like that one. But that's our story. Our blur in time called life.

And then there is this...

Just keepin' it real.

Season's Greetings

  No white Christmas in the Pacific Northwest. And that is just fine with me. I have enjoyed the extended autumn colors and afternoon sunshine, yes! The sun! It has been such an unexpected pleasure when it shows itself. Also, the season has brought the joy of morning tea with honey brought from Barcelona for my birthday by Andrea. It truly is the most wonderful time of the year!

We left all the Christmas decorations in Idaho when we moved. I was pretty panicked about not being able to get into my Clark Griswold swing of things. But it turned out so great. I crafted banners, glittered pinecones, searched the internets for a free printable nativity, & recruited Ellen to paint. It was a nice challenge, I loved seeing how little we need to bring in commercial Christmas & plastic Santa.

There were some of the same traditions as we've always done. Advent calendars, gingerbread houses, planning the Christmas dinner. (everything with my boys usually involves food) I love the rhythm these annual activities brings to the season but I think I am most jazzed about some of the new things we started this year. I invited some neighbors over to craft & eat an amazing lemon curd cheesecake I baked. We taught the boys "Away in a Manger" and sang it every night. I didn't fuss over wearing our Christmas best. (or even combed hair-gasp!) 

It was new with old, & all kinds of good.

advent

 We are closing in on the end of a whirlwind year 

for our family. Last Christmas I was reeling from 

Matt's cousin being shot in the line of duty. We 

celebrated with him on Christmas Day, he was 

already released from the hospital at that time. 

It was hard for me to work through. I knew God 

had miraculously intervened to save him but 

I felt scared & out of joint. He was Matt's cousin, 

childhood best friend, they worked together, & 

the shooting was just a few blocks from our Nampa home. 

  Before I had worked through any of that, God started 

pressing on Matt & I in a different direction. It started to 

get really uncomfortable for us in areas of our life we had 

previously thought settled. We have some names for God 

around here, we like John Eldredge's "Divine Thwarter," or 

Matt Chandler's, "Haunting", Beth Moore has said, "He's just 

the bossiest thing." Yes, we felt all that in our wonderful life 

we built in Nampa. Thwarted. Haunted. An unrelenting pull 

away from the comfort we were enjoying.

 In 2010, Matt & I had a ridiculously good vacation to Seattle. 

It worked it's way into our minds as the Promised Land.

Remembering that we are raising 4 little people prompted us 

to take another, more realistic, trip. In February we drove on

icy roads to stay in Seattle's crappy hotels, wander Safeway, 

& stalk affordable neighborhoods. We thought the surefire 

cure for the unrest we felt was to  see milk at $6.00 a gallon 

& witness a few back alley drug deals. 

 Nope. In fact, after a tear-filled church service, Matt felt like 

we were supposed to move and NOW. So we headed back to 

Idaho and began to plan it out. Matt spent the spring trying to 

wrap up the work he had loved for eight years. It was a heavy 

load to set down, bittersweet in every way. 

 We found ourselves on the road to Seattle. Matt & I, 

my sister, 4 kids, 1 dog, a minivan, a moving truck, and 

2 fish in a crockpot inside a vintage Mercedes. Sounds like 

a bad country song, eh? We moved on Memorial Day, 

along with half of the Northwest. The last hours spent in 

traffic just minutes from our new home, felt like days. 

The first month was exhausting. And lonely. But we were 

so hopeful. Our new adventure had begun.

 Matt took a week to get us settled and then began to look 

for work. The idea we had was that either A: This was going 

to be a 6 week sabbatical and then we would go back to 

Idaho or B: Matt would find meaningful work that was not so 

hard on our family. (and, that this would all be made clear 

once we were moved. You know? Like a nicely wrapped gift 

left on our bed pillow.) 

 It was not clear. Not one moment of clarity since we left the 

208 area code! The summer moved on with many 

blessings- amazing neighbors, generous friends, a better 

understanding of our family. But no insight, no plan, nada. 

I could go into how this played out, but I won't. I will say that 

the waiting was excruciating, soul-squeezing, draining, 

exhausting work. Matt & I agree, the hardest it has ever been

to hold on. 

 School started after Labor Day & I had decided there was 

not enough chaos in our unemployed, unsettled, impatient 

lives. Let's Homeschool! I wanted to quit on the first week. 

But we persevered and we are at a better place with it. 

I love having the boys home and learning more about how 

each of them think. That being said, I do not think it will be a 

long term situation for our boys.

Come November, we thought we had hit rock bottom & 

surrendered. And then the bottom of rock bottom fell out

from underneath us. All the rejection, emotion, & panic of 

the job search was too much. I asked Matt if we could just

leave the applications that were in process & not apply 

anywhere else. We agreed that he would not apply any new

places & if we were not gainfully employed by the New Year, 

we would pack up from our extended sabbatical & head back 

to Idaho.

 We are now in the throws of Advent. Matt & I greet this 

season with a new understanding of what it is to 
wait. And! Matt got the call last night that he has 
a job, starting...

The first day of the New Year.

Merry Christmas to you & yours from The Archuletas