cast off

 The cast is off, peoples.

 Aden's arm looked so skinny & he said is felt really weird.

 Collin watched Team Umizoomi in the Doc's office. (who randomly, is SO HANDSOME.)

And then we stopped at Taco Time.  I've been told the very first Taco Time was in White Center, mere minutes from our West Seattle home!

aww, schucks

Thanks for responding to my last post with such love and light. I have the best cheering section a girl could hope for. It made me want to push more of the words out. To write more about the struggle and the joy we are walking through. This video sums up my hesitation best, I see that vulnerability as weakness and it is simply not true. Thanks again, for listening.

expectations vs. reality

Almost a year has passed since our trek to the Pacific Northwest. That feels somehow significant to me. Like it is worthy of a balloon release or confetti toss. Also, it feels heavy with disappointment. A year ago I had such high hopes, and my! how the mighty have fallen.

I thought my super charismatic, competent, & qualified husband would have a job in a matter of weeks. It took more than 6 months.

I thought my sister & I would be up all night reliving funny childhood memories & cracking inside jokes. She is living in another part of the city & we see each other about once a month.

I thought we were going to join a community of believers at a thriving local church. We are not. (not ready to talk about this yet.)

I thought when we got qualified to buy a home & our lease was up, we would make the leap into Washington home ownership. In reality there is some kind of Spring buying craze going on in our area with multiple, above asking price offers being thrown in the ring. This kind of stress I find particularly toxic, I fear getting caught up in the panic & paying more than the house is actually worth.

I thought making new friends would be easy. It is not. I have discovered I am quite the introvert & being social is "work" for me. The vulnerability, the emotional risk of being the newbie is exhausting.

I thought we had found the perfect rental. It has been a good fit but as with anything, I find myself focusing on the garage that leaks or the lack of a dishwasher.

I thought we had good budgeting skills. The  cost of living in Nampa, I discovered, is 5% less than the national average. The cost of living in West Seattle is 45% higher than the national average. That is a 50% increase for us. No wonder my budget won't work.

I thought Matt & I would continue to date, with plenty of romantic fodder as we explored a new city together. We were spoiled with weekly dates in Idaho, now it is about once every other month. (Thank you Grandparents!)

I thought our venture into Virtual Academy would help with the public school burn out we were suffering from. The school has since changed Parker's teacher 3 times this year. (Did I tell you I wanted the boys in online school for stability???)

I thought I would keep up with Idaho friends through Skype & Facebook or emailing. A few of these dear friends have just had babies. New precious little ones I am missing out on!

So, if you are still reading this window into my soul, there you have it. On the up side this round of expectation vs. reality is hilarious, maybe I will laugh at mine later... much later.

a little late

Our Easter 2012: 

 I made these bird nests with the boys. You are supposed to use those big bricks of Shredded Wheat but I imagined them sitting in the cupboard until next Easter. So we used a cereal a lot like wheat Chex, it is kind of like the Rice Crispy treat method. Just use what you have crafting over here. I am so over projects that require a trip to multiple stores. The boys devoured them straight away, anyhow.

Same with our egg dying. We used just a few colors (pink of course), with the food coloring I got for free with coupons last year. Rubber bands made the stripes on the eggs. I think of it as my use or lose it crafting style.

The Grandparents sent a fun package with a trivia game for the boys, that occupied them most of the morning so I could get ready for church. Oh how I love to look like a girl, heels and all.

Worship at church was a beautiful flashback to our celebration last year. The worship leader was flying around the stage barefoot. It is so inspiring to see people use their gifts with passion. And the baptisms! There was an older couple, in their seventies, I think. The went into the tub together and I LOST IT. Love, redemption, & a new start. Oh joy, the work of our Savior!
http://youtu.be/psT8SbBrSt8

We wandered around Ballard and ended up at The People's Pub. Good eats, friends. Love these happy accidents that keep happening.

Nothing is working out up here the way we planned. That is hard but we still feel we are supposed to stay the course. Good thing I have the blog so I can whine about it ;)

Miles

Andrea had her baby! A precious little boy, Miles. He was delivered after a very long wait on April 18th. Andrea's dad set up a photo site for Miles that is already filled with great pictures of the whole family. Congratulations Andrea, he is too cute for words.

busybody

Me to Collin, "Quit doofing around!"

Collin, "But doofing is fuuuun!"

 This last pic is Collin showing me his "secret friend." (his shadow)

sickos

  My babies are sick. It is a rare thing for me to be able to mother them. They simply won't stand for it on the day to day. So a tiny part of me rejoices when fever sets in & they are mine again. They want the back rubs, the books read to them. Along with gatorade & popsicles, because that is the sick ritual 'round these parts. At my house growing up it was 7-up and vanilla ice cream. More than a time or two I feigned illness to stay home, tended to by my mom.
 I had to shift by a mile to become this caregiver, you know. I was not known for my great empathy or compassion. It seems so unfair then, that just as I came to love it, the boys seem to have such little need for my nurture. But those changes are more for us parents anyhow. That is why grandparents are such lovely folks. They have been molded & shaped over time. They've figured out the really good parts to focus on & what bits are best left unsaid. And they never are short on sugary treats, which, let's face it are the best remedy for a bad day.
  I am struck by the middle place I am residing in. Not yet gray and wise but not so enthused & hopeful as in my younger days. A lot of "press on" but, "enjoy the present!" And all the while not forgetting the past.     It is a mad pull from all angles.

 What about you, moms? How do you deal with the exhaustion? The loneliness? The fears?

lol

I heard about this free app for iPad called aLike. Seriously, a good time folks. These were some of our results

 I guess it is okay for me to be into Legolas, right?

 Matt kept changing his expressions to get different results, I almost peed my pants when this popped up.

The boys kept getting females except for Aden, he repeatedly matched with this guy. I do not see it.

Thank you to those of you who have reached out this past week. The connection with you dear friends makes the hard stuff not so hard.


Also, my favorite quote this season:
"Comparison is the thief of joy."

Theodore Roosevelt

spring "break"

The Archuletas have their very first broken bone. Aden was the first to need stitches and now he has broken his left forearm. (They gave me all these fancy terms for it but whatev) There are a few pics on his blog.

Of course, as a mom, I am freaking out. I can't help it. It is hard to see your child hurting, plus I struggle with false guilt in general so this will take me awhile to wrestle through. We had this nightmare experience with the ER. (Maybe this is everyone's experience?) We checked in at 8pm and checked out at 2:30am- WITHOUT the x-rays that would be needed to get a cast put on at Seattle Children's Hospital! Yuck! I seriously was having this re-occuring thought that we would never be able to leave.

Lately it has really gotten to me how rude this city can be. Just a lot of encounters with busy, angry city dwellers pushing through life...uggh... It would not be so difficult if I had a community to laugh at it all with. That kind of thing takes time though, and even more time with four kids and homeschool to manage. Couple this feeling with an injured child, two missed opportunities to see old friends visiting, and well, I am kind of in a funk. Last Easter was a big deal for our family, I think I am having letdown from that as well.

Anyway, Collin woke up with a stomach bug, Mom has the blues, and Aden is rocking a neon green cast. Aren't we a hat trick of malady.