expectations vs. reality

Almost a year has passed since our trek to the Pacific Northwest. That feels somehow significant to me. Like it is worthy of a balloon release or confetti toss. Also, it feels heavy with disappointment. A year ago I had such high hopes, and my! how the mighty have fallen.

I thought my super charismatic, competent, & qualified husband would have a job in a matter of weeks. It took more than 6 months.

I thought my sister & I would be up all night reliving funny childhood memories & cracking inside jokes. She is living in another part of the city & we see each other about once a month.

I thought we were going to join a community of believers at a thriving local church. We are not. (not ready to talk about this yet.)

I thought when we got qualified to buy a home & our lease was up, we would make the leap into Washington home ownership. In reality there is some kind of Spring buying craze going on in our area with multiple, above asking price offers being thrown in the ring. This kind of stress I find particularly toxic, I fear getting caught up in the panic & paying more than the house is actually worth.

I thought making new friends would be easy. It is not. I have discovered I am quite the introvert & being social is "work" for me. The vulnerability, the emotional risk of being the newbie is exhausting.

I thought we had found the perfect rental. It has been a good fit but as with anything, I find myself focusing on the garage that leaks or the lack of a dishwasher.

I thought we had good budgeting skills. The  cost of living in Nampa, I discovered, is 5% less than the national average. The cost of living in West Seattle is 45% higher than the national average. That is a 50% increase for us. No wonder my budget won't work.

I thought Matt & I would continue to date, with plenty of romantic fodder as we explored a new city together. We were spoiled with weekly dates in Idaho, now it is about once every other month. (Thank you Grandparents!)

I thought our venture into Virtual Academy would help with the public school burn out we were suffering from. The school has since changed Parker's teacher 3 times this year. (Did I tell you I wanted the boys in online school for stability???)

I thought I would keep up with Idaho friends through Skype & Facebook or emailing. A few of these dear friends have just had babies. New precious little ones I am missing out on!

So, if you are still reading this window into my soul, there you have it. On the up side this round of expectation vs. reality is hilarious, maybe I will laugh at mine later... much later.