The Funny Farm

Decorating the trees this year was a bit different. The boys were ready the day after Thanksgiving to drag it all out and get to it. But I hesitated. The house is stacked with piles. Piles of "donate," piles of "clean," and piles of just plain old "trash," (Seriously, I have some hoarding tendencies.) So there wasn't room for Christmas decorations. I took awhile to purge and then we decorated.

   We did this funny thing where we took our kids out into the forest when they were babies to cut down our own Christmas tree. (I actually nursed them in the snow!) Now that they all are out of diapers and can walk about unassisted, we have fake trees. There are four small trees that Ellen passed down to us. In other words; FREE. Trying to be frugal seems spiritually appropriate, you know, the Reason for the Season, it's not about you and all that.  But not culturally, no the world says they are only little once, and Christmas should be magical! (it really is all about you) The sad truth is I usually choose to be spiritually poor rather than actually poor which makes me shuck and jive until the budget balances, would I have that kind of passion when it comes to the state of my heart.

Like the song says; PREPARE HIM ROOM But there is no room. With all the complaining and coping and frustration, there is just not room for advent, for the waiting and the welcoming and the expectancy. And it is okay. It is okay because forcing the meaningful is meaning-less. And I found this quote:

“Because sometimes in the waiting for what we long for, we praise God long when the gift comes at long last. Sometimes God has his people wait long, so our gratitude becomes deeper and wider.” – Ann Voskamp, The Jesse Tree Journey

That stirred in me hope. I am not sure if there will still be Christmas songs on the radio or lights strung about my neighborhood when I get there but my heart will have room.